Katt Williams is arguably the funniest man on the planet, that much you’re likely aware of; the fact that will undoubtedly leave you a bit mystified is that the actor/comedian extraordinaire was a force to be reckoned with in a myriad of different sports back in his heyday.
Yes, “Pimpin’” was known to unleash the blow-by speed to excel during his adolescence.
“When you’re short you’re trying to figure out where you fit in,” Williams said with a laugh. “Wherever speed was an important factor I did OK.”
These days, since he’s less Usain Bolt more Tiger Woods; Williams has turned in his track shoes for golf clubs.
“I shoot about an 82,” Williams said. “It’s not bad.”
I caught up with Williams to chop-it-up about everything from his new comedy tour Conspiracy Theory to his new movie Bastards and got schooled on the little-known fact that everyone on the planet has seven twins.
Jason Jordan: I always like to gauge the sports backgrounds and experiences of all of my guests on the Celeb Chop-Up; What sports did you try coming up?
Katt Williams: Football, basketball, track; as I got a little older I tried golf and tennis. When you’re short you’re trying to figure out where you fit in.
JJ: Which was your best sport?
KW: Wherever speed was an important factor I did OK. Football you take a lot of hits and basketball was a lot easier and track is, like, the easiest thing in the world. That’s just running, but now that I’m an old man golf is where the brain is. I shoot about an 82. It’s not bad. It’s the best I can get to and still be a 19 handicap.
JJ: Well I’m definitely not gonna play you then.
KW: (Laughs) Yeah I’m OK out there.
JJ: Who’s your NFL team?
KW: Well, I’m from Cincinnati so I owe some allegiance to the lowly Cincinnati Bengals, but I’m definitely a football fan. I’m always trying to figure out who’s going to win and why. I’m a Cavaliers fan in basketball, again, because of where I’m from.
JJ: I know you were at the Mayweather-Berto fight; is Floyd Mayweather the greatest pound-for-pound fighter ever?
KW: Yeah, definitely. Undefeated is its own category. We’ve seen lots of greats that didn’t get beat by fighters, some people got beat by stuff outside of the ring and inside of the ring. Floyd’s unblemished. We throw away too many legends these days. We’re not likely to see that again. That’s Rocky Marciano!
JJ: Well said. Let’s take this thing random in 3, 2, 1… What do yellow traffic lights mean to you?
KW: It means I’m ready for the red light. I automatically stop when I see that yellow light. Yellow means red to me.
JJ: What’s your biggest pet peeve?
KW: Willful ignorance.
JJ: What competition based reality show would you absolutely win?
KW: I’m gonna say The Amazing Race.
JJ: What fast food restaurant has the best fries?
KW: Aaaah, man I do not wanna give McDonald’s this type of credit… Alright, we’re gonna say McDonald’s. What can ya do…
JJ: President Obama’s Secret Service code name is Renegade; what would you pick as your code name if you were President?
KW: I would probably be the Black Owl Package.
JJ: Well, I’m pretty sure that’s never been used before so you’re safe there.
KW: (Laughs) Yes, yes, I was going for originality points there.
JJ: Would you rather have the power to be invisible or the power to read minds?
KW: I’d rather be invisible. The power to read minds is great, but there’s no guarantee that you can just shut that off; eventually you’ll just be a crazy person with voices in your head. If you’re invisible in the right places you’ll hear just as much as you would if you could read minds.
JJ: Great point. What was your worst pre-fame job?
KW: I never looked at jobs like that. I was always really happy to have jobs even if I didn’t really care for it at the time. Unemployment is terrible.
JJ: In the epic game of Paper, Rock, Scissors which object do you tend to get the most wins with?
KW: The rock.
JJ: How would you use a rewind button in life?
KW: I’d take it all the way back to the beginning; might as well.
JJ: Everybody’s seen The Walking Dead, I’m curious, how long would you survive in that type of scenario?
KW: I’d survive a long, long time. I see that being pretty easy. The actual walking dead are only an issue because of their numbers. Zombies are not the competition that we make them out to be.
JJ: True, most of the big problems come from other living humans.
KW: See, exactly! That’s how I wanted to convey that. You’re not gonna live a normal life in an abnormal society.
JJ: Let’s hop into the DeLorean Time Machine (Back to the Future), which era would you love to drop in on for a while?
KW: 1890 to about 1930. For black people it was a time and space that we’ve only had once in our whole history. I would really like to see what that transition was like.
JJ: What’s the most overused slang word or phrase out right now?
KW: I think it’s a tie between “Really” and “OMG.” Those have to be the top two.
JJ: If you would 100 percent get away with it which crime would you commit?
KW: (Laughs) Well, if I’m 100 percent getting away with it I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a crime. I’m not gonna incriminate myself, especially since I have the power of invisibility.
JJ: That you do! What sitcom intro song do you know every word to?
KW: Oh man lots! Good Times, The Jeffersons, The Brady Bunch, Mr. Belvedere, All in the Family!
JJ: What random fact can you just tell me right now?
KW: There are seven people in the world that look exactly like you.
JJ: Wow, really? That’s a fact?
KW: Really, that’s a fact sir. Bananas right? See part of the job is for you to be able to ask me that question and not only do I have to answer it I have to try to come up with something that made you go, “Wait a minute!”
JJ: I think that may qualify as the most random fact in Celeb Chop-Up history; well done Katt!
KW: (Laughs) Thank you! That means something to me.
JJ: Who would you never want to meet in a dark alley?
JJ: How much material are you getting from the recent Presidential debates?
KW: Not as much as you’d think. Everybody is their own stereotype. Think about it, we haven’t been shocked yet. If Donald Trump comes outside of his character we’d be shocked. Same with Ben Carson. Everyone is being who they are. You’re telling me out of 17 people, Donald Trump is really the biggest story there is? Don’t ask me to pick the cute girl out of 17 ugly girls.
JJ: OK we’ve got the Conspiracy Theory tour kicking off next month, which we know is going to be hysterical, you’ve got the new movie Bastards coming, talk about those things and what fans can expect.
KW: I appreciate that, Jason! Well, with the tour you can expect energy! That’s what we bring. We make sure from the moment you step in there until the final moment you are laughing all the way through. We’re hitting all the hot button topics as the tour title shows. And with the movie, what can I say, it’s great company with Owen Wilson, Ed Helms and then add Katt Williams in there I’m thinking you might see something. I work just as hard being funny on screen as I do on stage. It’s all coming from the same engine.
Follow Jason Jordan on Twitter: @JayJayUSATODAY