Snoop Dogg has always been my spirit animal, but I think I just found a new one in the beastly Peteli Mikaele.
As best as we can tell, Mikaele is an eighth-grader playing for the 14U Pomona Steelers in California’s Snoop Youth Football League, which makes Calvin Broadus — a.k.a. Snoop Dogg — the president of the young fella’s organization. I’m not sure you understand the glory that is Snoop overseeing the greatest player in youth football history.
Best. Story. Ever.
Seriously, you do not tackle Mikaele. He only stops running when he decides he’s delivered enough pain. Mikaele does not have a Beast Mode, because beast is not a mode for him. It’s a way of life. He is beast, and beast is him.
I need Snoop Dogg to write a rap about Mikaele, declaring his nickname, and I needed it yesterday. Or we could just go with Snoop’s “Gravy Train” from the album Death Row: The Lost Sessions Vol. 1. I’d be on board with that.
I just got sucked into a vortex of watching Pomona Steelers highlights on YouTube, and my favorite part is how everyone on the Pomona “Slaughterhouse” Steelers is twice the size of anybody on the opposing team. I assume they never lose, as should be the case, since the president of their team is also the founder of the league. Snoop probably wins the championship every season, and then when it comes time to draft players, he always gets the No. 1 pick.
In reality, Snoop is the coach of the 12U Steelers, so “Teli” falls under the direct guidance of coaches Fly, Wallace, Graham, Potts, Gary and Johnson, so much respect to that crew and all their work in preparing these kids. I’m pretty sure this squad would destroy any other youth team I’ve ever seen.
I’ll leave you with Mikaele’s full highlight video from Under the Radar Sports Media, which might be as violent as Snoop’s lyrics are explicit, since everyone from quarterbacks to linebackers are harmed in this two-way experiment.
So, I’ll offer you two options: Get on the Gravy Train right now or get run over. There is no other choice.