There’s a lot to unpack about the Mike Tyson ice cream theft/misunderstanding story from the U.S. Open. Yes, the fact that a former heavyweight boxing champion turned rape convict turned cartoon impresario gave himself a five-finger discount for an ice cream bar is notable, but still not the standout feature of this tale. Just consider the ancillary facts related to the story:
— Iron Mike was sporting a serious graph check suit to the Open. That is a serious, stylish upscale move
— He was attending the Open with his 7-year-old daughter Milan, a self-affirmed tennis nut.
— Tyson watched Novak Djokovic advance by eliminating Jerzy Janowicz from the Presidential Suite
So, let’s put two-and-two together here. If Tyson was sitting in the President’s Suite, that means his 7-year-old daughter was also sitting in the President’s Suite. That is something.
In all seriousness, what is a 7-year-old doing hob nobbing with Alec Baldwin, Vera Wang and Anna Wintour? At a night session? It all seems very over the top, no matter how talented Milan Tyson ultimately proves to be. After all, something tells us that Novak Djokovic wasn’t hanging out in a Presidential Suite at one of the majors; he was too busy training to go and win them all in the future (yes, we’re sure he would have been if invited. We can’t blame him, or Milan Tyson. That doesn’t mean their attendance in the suite isn’t still ridiculous).
Oh, and one final thing: The ice cream wasn’t enough of a desert for Tyson? He was pictured eating popcorn in the suite shortly thereafter. He may not train like a heavyweight boxer anymore, but he still eats like one.